Mary Louella Bartos' Obituary
“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.” We will always remember our Mother this way – kind compassionate and always giving. Our Mother may be gone from us in body, but she will always be by our side in spirit. And what an indomitable spirit! Mary Louella Bartos. We know her as Mother Mary, Miss Mary, Mamma, Aunt Mary, The Queen and Nanny. She is a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, a grandmother (she preferred Nanny, as we all knew her own mother) and so much more. But for Mary, her most important and happiest role was that of wife and mother.
Mary was born on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. on September 22, 1930 to Harriett Matern and Charles Craigan Ball. Throughout her lifetime she would travel the world, but her home remained in the Washington, D.C. area. She was proud of her heritage and even more so of her family growing up. She was the youngest of nine children starting with Harriett, Dottie, Liz, George, Charles, Anna Mae, Jack, and Louise. Her eldest sister, Harriett, died at age 12 of tuberculosis, before Mary was born. Being the youngest, she was adored by her sisters Liz and Anna Mae and often spent time with them at Colonial Beach, Great Falls and the mountains of Virginia and West Virginia. She told a great story about when, as a 12-year old, she came home from school one day, saw a military cap in the foyer of her home and out popped one of her brothers, George or Charlie; home on leave from World War II. Jack, Louise and Mary were the youngest of the troupe and very tight, they were each others shadows. The loved to roller skate down G Street and look at the Christmas windows decorated at the department stores. Mom remembered playing amongst the tents set up on the National Mall as temporary office buildings during World War II. Have some pocket money to buy penny candy from the corner store was a great pleasure for her. My, she loved her candy.
Growing up and into adulthood in the mid 40’s to early 50’s, was a fun time for Mary. She flowed with a group of friends in and around Washington, attending sorority events, listened to Frank Sinatra records, went bowling and bike riding along Haynes’s Point. After graduation from Eastern High school in 1948, Mary worked at the Government Printing office and later, was a secretary for the Central Intelligence Agency. Throughout this time, she blossomed into a beautiful woman and took on a new hobby as a fashion model. She appeared in advertisements in magazines and in The Washington Post, where a young man named Joe Bartos spotted her photo. Fate would have it that he worked with her sister, Louise, and a date was set for them to meet.
In 1951, Mary was introduced to Joseph John Bartos. It was a blind date that lasted 40 years, produced three children, one grandchild and a menagerie of pets. Our father, Joe knew instantly he was going to marry her. “As she stepped in front of the car, the head lights caught her face and hair, and as she entered the back seat and slid towards me, I saw an angel: My Angel,” he said. And he loved her dearly and ever so deeply for all his life. Mary and Joe were married at St. Francis Xavier Church in Washington, D.C. on September 27, 1952. Her nieces, Barbara and Patti, served as her flower girls. Years later, Barbara and Patti would have Mary’s daughter, Terri, serve as their flower girl in their weddings. They moved into Buckingham Apartments in Arlington, VA., and soon after rented a home on North Lebanon Street, close by where the two began their family.
Doug was born September 23, 1954 (the day after Mom’s birthday) and Terri followed on February 25, 1960. Mary’s small, but growing family remained close to her own siblings in Virginia; sharing many wonderful moments during holidays, birthdays and outdoor fun celebrations. Mary was adored by her many nieces and nephews. Mary and Joe moved their family to Bowie, Maryland in February, 1962. It was a wonderful place to raise their family and close to Washington, D.C. where Joe served as Vice President of Computer Operations for Peoples Life Insurance Company until his retirement. They had truly found peace. On June 15, 1965, Christopher was born and the Bartos family was complete.
Mary and Joe were active in community groups including the Bowie Elks and Knights of Columbus. Mary also served with the PTA for Buckingham Elementary School as well as a Den Mother for the Cub Scouts. In 1987, she ventured back in to the working world and took on a managerial role as an Administrative Secretary and managed the office for the lobbying arm of CalTex Petroleum Corporation in Washington, D.C. She retired in 1990 to spend more time with Joe. She loved spending time with her precious grandson, Gregory, and was totally devoted to him. In June of 1991, after a lifelong battle with heart disease, Mary lost her husband, Joe, who is buried at Cheltenham Veterans Cemetery for his service in the United States Navy.
One year later, Mary moved to Annapolis, MD to a condominium in Heritage Harbor, where she made many dear friends. She enjoyed quilting and going to quilt shows, attending plays and concerts (including Paul McCartney), painting and sketching, and was a volunteer “Pink Lady” with Anne Arundel Medical Center. She served as Secretary of the AAMC Auxiliary, receiving many awards for her selfless contributions. Mary enjoyed traveling. She and Joe spent summer vacations with the kids in Wildwood, NJ with Joe’s sister and her family. They loved adventure and took the family on a month long road trip up to Canada in 1970. She went on her first cruise with girlfriends through the Panama Canal, Aruba and other Caribbean stops. In 1998, she joined her daughter, son-in-law Mike and his family on a trip to England with a side trip to Rome. She visited Mike’s family in Nashville, TN many times and shared so much laughter and love with them. She often said that Mike’s mother, Sara, was like a sister to her. Mary loved her daughter-in-law Jill, they shared a love of quilting. Mary loved to join Doug, Jill and Greg on jaunts to different gardens and stately homes throughout the Delmarva area. She spent many summer vacations with her niece Carol, nephew Charles Scheimreif, his wife Linda, and their children and grandchildren, at the beaches in North Carolina. Her lifelong love of the beach and the boardwalk was shared with the whole family. She was considered an “Honorary Sponsor Grandma” by the USNA midshipmen sponsored by her daughter and her husband. Her family was her pride and joy, and raising her children provided some of the happiest days of her life.
After several falls, Mary moved to Regency Park Assisted Living community. She had many friends there and was President of their Ladies Red Hat Society. Always the social one, she loved playing Bingo, going on trips out to restaurants, and sitting on the front porch under the arbor, chatting away with her friends. Mary passed away on February 20, 2012, after a long battle with pneumonia. She was the last of a generation in this family and was much beloved. To us, she truly was Queen Mary. As we continue on with our lives, we will remember Mary Louella Ball Bartos for her devotion to family, her strength and wisdom, her incredible quick wit, her kind heart, sweet and empathetic manner and above all, the incredible grace and dignity with which she carried throughout her life. Her great faith in the Lord and her belief in the power of prayer kept her from being afraid of this next journey. If you look outside tonight to the stars and the heavens and feel someone warmly smiling down upon you, it is probably Mary. It is her fire that will light the next torch for others to lead. We were blessed to have her with us for 81 years and will miss her company dearly.
Memorial contributions maybe made to Hospice of the Chesapeake 445 Defense Highway Annapolis MD 21401.
What’s your fondest memory of Mary ?
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Share a story where Mary 's kindness touched your heart.
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