For a time, Brian had me fooled with his sometimes-curmudeonly ways. He left parties early and slipped away from "girlfriend" gatherings with great relief; he'd pace tracks into the sidelines at soccer games - a safe distance from the people and the field chairs he set up for Jen to relax in. Even a few weeks ago he could be heard from another room calling out "bah!" in response to a conversation about kids' birthday parties. It was only after a few years of friendship with Jennifer that I learned that that curmudgeonliness was an elaborate, even comedic, ruse for shyness. In reality, there was no one more charming. Almost a foot taller than me, he managed eye contact as few can, and shot off questions, about my laundry rack, porch ceiling, grilled chicken recipe, nodding with intense listening. He was full-contact with his family - an arm draped around Liam's shoulder, his hand wrapped around Jennifer's hand or his chin on her head. Fully engaged in fixing what was broken or understanding a quandry.
And because we didn't spend a lot of time together, that's how he touched my life. He embodied partnership and collaboration, tolerance and, I came to understand, great good humor.
I'm so sad that he is gone; and I'm especially aching for Jennifer, Liam, Thomas, Jennifer's sister Susan and Brian's sisters, Missy and Martha. But I am grateful that he touched my life with his warmth and goodness and I will hold that in my heart beside my grief and my memories.
Love,
Mary Grace Gallagher
